The holidays are here. It’s an interesting time of year when childhood memories bloom and thoughts of icy snowmen, hot chocolate, and family get-togethers fill our hearts, minds, and stomachs.

Not me…I think of batteries.

And I hate batteries. Batteries cost a great deal of money, sometimes more than the items you buy that need the batteries. Batteries come in many sizes, too many, so you can’t just buy a big box of, let’s say, 9Volts because the remote control helicopter you bought uses “C’s” and the hand held remote takes two “AA’s”!  

I hate batteries because the kids never shut off the battery operated keyboard. Now I am no electrician, but I know without eight working “D” batteries you can’t play even a C note on the battery operated keyboard.

I hate batteries because they are a choking hazard for young children and they leak acid when they are left unused. I hate batteries because they are difficult to install. Today you need a special mini screwdriver just to open the battery hatch! And after grappling for 25 minutes with the Teflon coated, Blackwater security wrapped gift, I just don’t feel like installing batteries with my bloodied fingers.

I hate batteries because they don’t come with the toys you buy. “Batteries not included” is like a saying, “Here’s a toy that doesn’t work unless you buy some more things and work some more installing it so your kids can leave it on so you have to buy more batteries that were not included in the first place!” It is just me?

I hate batteries because you can’t play with battery operated toys in the rain, and I like rain. I like the Amish too because they do not like batteries either.

Batteries also mean less work for a child and I like when children work. Not sweat-shop work but the type of work and running around that wears them out and gets them out of the house! Children get exercise by moving around, kicking balls, chasing butterflies, and building things.

Batteries are also a drain on the environment. A huge drain. They are not easily recyclable, they do not compost, and they add dangerous chemicals to landfills and lakes! I am sure Al Gore hates batteries too.    

Here’s a challenge.

Moms, dads, grandmas, granddads, uncles, aunts…I challenge you this holiday season to buy gifts for your children that do not require batteries or electricity. Just imagine the possibilities! The wonderful gifts, games, puzzles, bug catchers, butterfly/insect nets, fishing rods (not the battery operated ones), magnifying glasses, telescopes, books, and, well hundreds of other cool toys that are available in the stores or on-line. A shameless plug - Visit www.CoolBugStuff.com for some wonderful NO BATTERY OPERATED toys, games, and way cool Science and Nature gifts!

Stand up. Band together. Let’s fight against batteries this holiday season! Oh, that’s my cell phone, I have to take this call, have a happy holiday and as always…

Have a Creepy Crawly New Year!